Upon burying the beauteous dawn...

Been away forever writing new songs, singing everyday, finally started writing my novella jesus christ if you ever want damage yourself take up writing a book....anyway I'll keep this short taking on more then my brain and body can handle.....at least we will get a few more great songs out of this....and maybe a half written manuscript who knows....

Well well well

so......... the show...we killed it, i can see things are starting to take an upwards swing....thank fucking christ

The Theatre Zero-Live-Soon

This friday is the date for my show on stage with The Theatre Zero. We have been practicing so hard and all our ideas for the show the banner, the new artwork, everything is coming along beautifully. I am terrified of bad sound throwing the entire show...it's happens every time I have yet to play a show with this band where someone has been off it's always feedback or something else fucking up. Not to mention that a lot of our friends and fans are going to be there and to make them pay to watch us fuck up would be a horrible feeling. On a plus we drink for free...so that should cut some off the weight and tension out of the equation....we shall see...

The Past Will Always Haunt You

i'd be a liar if I said all the evil things i have done to people didn't come back to haunt my thoughts on a daily basis. and every time you make another mistake you go through the entire list all over again replaying all your tragedies in your mind slowed down, more twisted and fucked up then before. the older i get the harder it gets to wake up and actually deal with what's going on inside of you. i just wish there was a way to make it a little easier...sometimes even music can't save someone who is that far gone.

What Will Get Me Through The Night

7777-Live at The Opera House

Phantoms

7777-Live in Paris

The Death Of Me

The Hangman's Elm- Live in Paris

playing live in paris.

winter

as the sun rushes east
the darkness runs and starts to cease
I sit alone in it's warming glow
too old to smile and too young to know
what's right to hide and what's wrong to show

it's beautiful walking here in winters woe
I close my eyes as it starts to snow
dancing as I breath in cold
the wind wraps me in it's hold
as I fall

dancing in the snow
dancing in the unknown
dancing here in winters glow
walking elegantly
singing soft and gently
here in winters glow

I wish to hide my face
to stay here in this place
the leaves are dead and gone
as my will to carry on
I'm melting into twilight
falling with the snow
dancing with the wind
as the moon beings to show

the good shows are few and far between

day after the the worst show our band has had. new venue, new gear, new people and it all added up to a bad performance.
now I'm left thinking do I give up after all this work or do I carry on with it? Who knows? i don't know if it's the dynamic
or the songs, the words or all of it. i do feel proud to have written so many songs and they sound beautiful to me, i get lost when we are on stage playing, but then it comes crashing back down when no one claps after you expose your heart on stage for what feels like a life time but is really only a short breath after all. i want to keep writing lyrics and poetry but it keeps getting harder after each failure. how much can you take trying to give people something unique and different and no one cares everyone has become so indifferent to anyone they can't get something from. i know i'll keep writing maybe just stop putting my soul on the line for people to walk over time after time...

What Will Get Me Through The Night

How many horsemen
Will it take for your demise
Defacto suicide fashion
Atop mass capillary action

What will get me through the night
What will get me through

The sky is moving sideways
Up your hypodermic thighs
I’m drinking up the shards
Of the better side of time

What will get me through the night
What will get me through

That girl she brings me dreams
Of the self inflicted guillotine
Love would fade to death
But then again that’s not all it seems

What will get me through the night
What will get me through

Threnody

Today I’ve lost track of all of my screams
In a city bathed in neon
Who would hear me
When it’s too loud to cry
And to quiet to sleep
It gets darker still into my dreams I creep

Please take the sunshine out of my life
It makes my eyelashes feel like knives
And on my worst day, I wear a smile
You think I’m happy, when I’m ready to die

the end seems near now
fleeting words unspoken
no feeling of being born here
only of being broken
break the surface and transcend
to the land of where it ends and begins

Please take the sunshine out of my life
It makes my eyelashes feel like knives
And with each step we take we’re passing by
Such beautiful places where we could die

As I cut myself upon that final dawn
I spit forth a cadence with the utmost calm
Of my soul of my collective stream
Then I know it's you who's been haunting me

Please take the sunshine out of my life
It makes my eyelashes feel like knives
And on my worst day, I wear a smile
You think I’m happy, when I’m ready to die

The Music Has Died

With no passion for living tonight
And too much for trying to die
The Gemini and naked stride
To a melody of that midnight sky

I tell you
I tell you
I tell you
The music has died

The vividness and colour of that jackel’s light
These hues will see me through the tears of time
Her voice fades into a whisper a cry
Where my footsteps reach the sun doesn’t shine

I tell you
I tell you
I tell you
The music has died

As my heart beats the serpents bite
Ghostly figures sing my lullaby
I’ve lost the sound of the chorus inside
And gained the voice of my devils tonight

I tell you
I tell you
I tell you
The music has died

The Hangman's Elm

The blood of lover’s is spilt in the glade
With me they’ll spend the rest of their days
As they rest their bones beneath my shade
They’re on their way to an early grave

And you know
They’re cutting it down
That old hangman’s elm

And as they draw the raven’s breath
They’ll feel the sting of my rope on their necks
This tree was born of the shadows
It grew up to be my gallows

And you know
They’re cutting it down
That old hangman’s elm

We never knew just by planting the seeds
That we’d claim our souls on it’s bows and leaves
We’d carve our names and our “meant to be’s”
On that old hangman’s tree

And you know
They’re cutting it down
That old hangman’s elm

The Death Of Me

And only you can comprehend
The darker shades of me
You can wear the veil I wear
You can see the world I see
In the end I’ll be
In the end I’ll be

I’ll be the death of you
You’ll be the death of me
Nobody said
Love would be easy

The look in your eyes
I haven’t seen before
In a world of blank stares
And closed doors
Will you bring me death
Or will I bring you yours

I’ll be the death of you
You’ll be the death of me
Nobody said
Love would be easy

And as I strike the so-called death pose
The taste of tears is all that I know
I’m your devil
You can be my rose
As we bring this
Heart to a close
This is the only
Love I’ve ever known

I’ll be the death of you
You’ll be the death of me
Nobody said
Love would be easy

Phantoms

What events shaped the noose I’m in
Was it a matter of pride
Or question of my sin
And I’m choking on the feathers
From the wings of your devils may care
And I’ll personalize my afterlife and you’ll be there

And on me the phantoms feed
Through crucifixion street
My heart draws torment from thy rosy cheek
All night long
And as my planchet wounds begin to creep
I will sleep no more
I will sleep no more

And are my wounds really healed
Or are they easier to bear
Have I grown out of the shadows
Or become accustomed to my own despair
And I’ll personalize my afterlife and you’ll be there

And on me the phantoms feed
Through crucifixion street
My heart draws torment from thy rosy cheek
All night long
And as my planchet wounds begin to creep
I will sleep no more
I will sleep no more

And I’m still strapped fast in your graves grasp
As I invert your heart shaped hourglass
And all final curtains have a tear
When you reach the heavens
By the darkened stair
And I’ll personalize my afterlife and you’ll be there

And on me the phantoms feed
Through crucifixion street
My heart draws torment from thy rosy cheek
All night long
And as my planchet wounds begin to creep
I will sleep no more
I will sleep no more

My Little Raven

Wing of ash
And eyelash of the grave
A cry of murder
And of what my nightmares are made

My little raven tells me tales of tears
She’ll sing my song for me
When my death is near
As I watch her drift away, drift away
My love, my love for her
It dies today, it dies today

My love is dressed from head to heart
In my darkest cloud
The dreary side of heaven
In her love is the death I’ve found

My little raven sings my song of death
She’ll hold my heart for me
On the hangman’s step
And as I drift away, drift away
My love, my love for her
It dies today, it dies today

She gave me angels
With the light that tucks in her hair
She gave me devils
That made me fall in love with despair

My little raven tells me tales of tears
She’ll sing my song for me
When my death is near
As I watch her drift away, drift away
My love, my love for her
It dies today, it dies today

Junkie

I’m in love, but drowning in her sin
My love, her beauty made of porcelain
As her needle skips and sticks right in
She built her coffin out of heroin

My girl
You’re my girl
You’re my girl but
You’re a junkie girl

She almost dies every night
Suicide in my plain sight
She keeps crying her street light eyes
Brightest eyes that ever lied

My girl
You’re my girl
You’re my girl but
You’re a junkie girl

There’s only so much that I can take
And I can’t take care of you forever
And tonight my heart might break
When death is all that can make you better

My girl
You’re my girl
You’re my girl but
You’re a junkie girl

Coffin Hill

This place that has escaped my steps
All the while I walked, I couldn’t talk
Devoid of passion, just trying to die
In a godless town, where I can’t see the sky
A chantress unknown the strangest eyes
Sings a song for me of the place we die
Moon silver sickle
Fake collapse and demise
Only then I realize, only then I realize

There are rows and rows of casket’s up on coffin hill
A place to lay your heart to rest
A place for blood to spill

I’ll point out heaven as we walk through hell
Singing songs we know all to well
I’ll breath love into you for days
As we enter the mausoleum phase
We bury our pain along the way
In graves with headstones bearing our names
These days they feel the same
These days they feel the same when

There are rows and rows of casket’s up on coffin hill
A place to lay your heart to rest
A place for blood to spill

I have nightmares now that bleed my soul
And when your gone the touch of angel stone
The sculpted dead before me feels as if
This is all I’ve ever known
I’m coming home
I’m coming home
I’m coming home
I’m coming home

There are rows and rows of casket’s up on coffin hill
A place to lay your heart to rest
A place for blood to spill

7777

Lost in a world of endless night
As he tries to wake by her side
Trapped in a forest of whisper and cry
Daylight never sleeps here why should I
I long for that crescent silver shape
Her moonlight it seeps through but never does stay

And as we shatter our looking-glass
Our broken hearts become whole at last
These Ashen Orchards Collapse
My Deathless Inamorata Devast
You Adhere To Chance
These Seven Years Past

Nail me to the wall and smile with every stroke
Collapse under burden of loves heavy cloak
And carry me throughout your lives
Words never spoken by my reflection that lies
Through the looking glass
A curse laid upon you that never will pass

And as we shatter our looking-glass
Our broken hearts become whole at last
These Ashen Orchards Collapse
My Deathless Inamorata Devast

Through darkened leaves just beyond sight
At times I hear him beyond shadows and light
Condemned to seek but never to find
A moments glance into these twilight eyes
Dying for a lover’s embrace
His shadow will defy these nightmarish days

And as we shatter our looking-glass
Our broken hearts become whole at last
These Ashen Orchards Collapse
My Deathless Inamorata Devast
You Adhere To Chance
These Seven Years Past
These Seven Years Past
These Seven Years Past
These Seven Years Past

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT SEVEN YEARS...THEN GO TO VALUE VILLAGE

After years of waiting I have finally found my leather coat that should last me until I'm dead. Not the rubbish from H & M and not the overpriced thrift stores where prices start at 300$ and up, this beauty was secured at Value Village for only 40$. I walked in this Friday and made my usual rounds to the various sections and as soon as I reached the jacket section this was the first one I put my hands on. Now all I need is a decent photographer and maybe one day I'll have a great shot like these people.

Bowie still looks the best.

GOD'S GONNA CUT YOU DOWN

One of the best country, folkish, gospel songs I have heard in a long time.
The next time I play a show we are going to cover this.

Here are the lyrics and the video




You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

Well my goodness gracious let me tell you the news
My head's been wet with the midnight dew
I've been down on bended knee talkin' to the man from Galilee
He spoke to me in the voice so sweet
I thought I heard the shuffle of the angel's feet
He called my name and my heart stood still
When he said, "John go do My will!"

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut 'em down

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand
Workin' in the dark against your fellow man
But as sure as God made black and white
What's done in the dark will be brought to the light

You can run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Run on for a long time
Sooner or later God'll cut you down
Sooner or later God'll cut you down

Go tell that long tongue liar
Go and tell that midnight rider
Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down
Tell 'em that God's gonna cut you down

IF I HAD ONE SUITCASE FOR THE ROAD...IT WOULD NEVER BE ENOUGH

Hi if you have gotten this far you must be interested in some way. If you know me great if not you can still hang around. I'm old enough now to feel the need to put some of the going's on in my life down for posterity so voila a blog, an online diary, and all that rubbish. So here you are a small shot into some of the essentials of my life being a creative person the baggage has added up over the years both physical and emotional.

: a journal :

It all started out with writing poetry from day one not  a single idea has come from anything other than the feeling  of such a strong force directing me to a blank page and the need to cover it all with the beautiful words in the English language, so in the suitcase you see item number one.

: a guitar :

The journal and the words led me to the second item a way to tie everything together and from a young age the guitar has always been the instrument I knew I wanted to play and when I picked up my first one I quickly forget the songs of others and began everyday writing my own.

: a microphone:

The idea of singing is horrible and terrifying when you don't have a voice that people understand but the feeling I get when I do sing makes it all worth while and if your going to write beautiful words and beautiful songs your going to have to sacrifice something on the altar and open your mouth to tell your story.

So now you can see the road has been a long one and it won't get any shorter when your trying to leave your thumbprint on the hearts of people with words, songs, poetry or any art form so long as you know your an artist at heart and what does an artist do he/she creates art regardless of what shape the canvas takes.

Needless to say in the next few years on the road I'm going to need more room in my suitcase, in my head, and in my heart.

C.H.W.S.